*I wrote this for the Enemies of Reason blog. Written by Anton Vowl.
Torture. Officially sanctioned by the newly imposed/democratically elected government. Our stand-in-front-of-the-cameras-Nicky-do-that-liberal-conscience-thing-you-do-ever-so-well Deputy Prime Minister says the abuse claims were “extremely serious” and of course, the real clincher, the abuse claims, “needed to be looked at”. That’ll really help Nick. Of course Nick Clegg can always, for his own ethical well-being, claim not to have voted for this war. And he’d be right. Action plan confirmed, we all knew he’d be straight on the phone to Obama. Outrage and moral uproar follows, vociferous news reports condemning the torture. No?
It’s all Wikileaks’ fault. The truth is bad. We can’t handle the truth.
Nation goes to war claiming direct threat, we must act in self-defence. This is then magically reworded to Operation Iraqi Freedom. Saddam killed. New government elected. Private oil contracts signed. Government tortures released inmates.
Q: What will be the reaction of the US-led forces?
A: “Ah, now, let me think about this, the Iraqi’s are going have to take responsibility at some point – we can’t just ‘take’ power back and stop them from torturing the inmates. We’ll have to let that pass, in any case, we’ve got the contracts now.”
They must’ve mentioned it, the media? Across the spectrum? This is, after all, a massive story of epic proportions and consequences if proved to be true (by the very same documents the military themselves created).
Fox news have declared that Wikileaks and the individuals involved in setting up and developing this online-source-protection will now be classified as the enemy. Sorry, let me quote again, “enemy combatants” is the official line. Wikileaks are a foreign company and they deserve to be punished. Pure, in-your-face, we don’t give a fuck about the truth any more, propaganda. Essentially an online server that releases documents, without censorship and attempts to protect the anonymity of the source are now our declared enemy. Not terrorists. Not guns. Not bombs. Not 45 minutes away. A website, storing and releasing documents, created by the military themselves. We’re now in a virtual war against Wikilieaks. The intelligence services will place the nation on an Ultra Red ‘Shit Your Bricks’ Level Alert. I’m frozen with fear.
Credit where it’s due though. The media, and those lurking in the dark shadows of influence managed to turn around a story, create a separate narrative based on strict, tried and tested methods. They’ve now successfully convinced millions of people, across the globe, to be angry at the personalities involved – and forget the horrific physical torture of other human beings. At least we’ve got Nick Clegg to speak up for us.
About a month the be precise. I blame the drugs.
Russell Brand on Talk Sport
Russell returned to the radio, with a little help from old Radio2 boss Lesley Douglas, at 9pm on TalkSport. His old Saturday night slot. A deal for 20 one-hour shows has been agreed. Although the Daily Mail editorial staff will have a significant impact on Russell Brand lasting the full allocation of shows. If they get emotional, and you bet they will looking for opportunities to do so, the ensuing uproar may force the commercial station to rethink the partnership.
The show starts in a conference centre. An audience cheers out. The lack of radio intimacy has already put me off. This is not a radio show, it is a recording, live, of a stand-up gig. Massive difference. Still, it’s funny.
I’m looking forward to the improvisation and banter with Matt and/or Noel Gallagher or maybe even Mr Ross; this is the real comedy genius. I’ve always found Russell Brand funnier when he’s got somebody else to bounce off. He does use the audience in the recording on TalkSport, but the adverts just cut into dialogue, half-way through an anecdote. At least with the radio show conversation will lead into the commercials, rather than feeling like you’re listening in to a show – but not quite involved.
Then Matt Morgan turns up at 9:20pm. And Mr G. All three review the Edinburgh Evening News; it works. It works because they’re laughing at themselves, and trying to make each other laugh – instead of regurgitating a script. Chemistry exists, they know each other well, unlike the strangers in the audience.
More commercials. More repetition. More over excited voices, expressing every word at a steady pace, until the end of the ad, then come-the-terms-and-conditions-and-everbody-speaks-very-quickly.
“Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace.”
This is going to be hard to bear. I don’t listen to radio with adverts.
“Adverts, probably the best way to annoy someone on a Saturday evening”
I might have to wait for the podcast. Although I suspect they may still invade the flow when I listen to that.
“Kocken ze harbour. Why do Ich harbour me kocken.”
If you didn’t listen, you’ll be ignorant to that joke. I can’t attempt to explain it. Then Chris Hoy turns up, currently the Unofficial King of Scotland. Sir Knighthood Doctor of Cycling and Olympic History. Then Brand attacks the Scottish accent for making the word “third” sound too like the word “turd” when expressing the popularity of darts in Scotland. It goes down well. More adverts.
I think they’ve told me I can listen to the uncut not for radio recording on the website 19 times in 41 minutes. I’m glad they think I’m a goldfish.
Then the third section of the show returns to a studio, albeit with a smaller audience. This is more like it. Dartboy becomes the topic of the show. Carnage.
“I know a lot of knowledge about darts” says Dartboy.
Brand claims he’s going to get Dartboy addicted to a variety of substances and throw him in the river. The Daily Mail is sniffing around, could this be there moment? If we don’t get a second episode, you’ll know why.
This week the discussion basis was, “Rejected Reality” Dom was angry, Custard was late, Marcus was here, together they discussed, Rejected Reality.
Intro 1, Marcus Vs. Dom’s sister, evidence, catch up, Farelli’s ruin TV shows, fatty Moyles, X-Factor prosti-cution, phone call, Marcus’ moist moment, leukaemianorthwales.org, intro 2, TV free (I.e fun free), bro code, Bill & Ted 3, 50 Cent or 50 Senseless, Empire magazine is a nob, Reality TV rejections, Dom did say shut up, George’s harsh wedding critique, self promotion, Yahoo Google YouTube, racism call back, Bible Science, serious moment, Danny Dyer, George’s reading, retard high, end.